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Become who you were Created to be

THE QUEST FOR AUTHENTIC MANHOOD/33 THE SERIES

What is a real man?

Men are confused today. Men don’t know what their roles are in society anymore. The statistic shows that 66% of children today are fatherless. Whether the father is at home or not.

Fathers are absent all over,
–   at home,
–   at work,
–   in churches,
–   and in society.
They have no lofty vision, they don’t know what their core roles are in a marriage, relationship, or society.

Why?

They grew up without a father that was supposed to teach them what is a real man:

A real man is:
- to take up responsibility
- to have the will to obey,
- or a work to do
- and a woman to love.

To reject passivity.

He waits instead of an initiate. He waits for his wife or girlfriend to take the first step or to make the decisions. He walks in her shadow all the time.

To lead courageously.

He does not know the term servant leader. If we talk about him being the head of the house, he thinks he is the boss, the benefactor. Everything is about him. He does not know how to engage successfully with a woman, to know her love language, or to know her personality. Dad did not teach him how to resolve conflict. He thinks he must be a winner when there is conflict.

Dad did not teach him about money, how to draw up a budget, and to sow into God's Kingdom.

Dad did not teach him about the different stages of a child’s life and how to support them.

Many parents don’t know the following:

When a child is small 0 -13, the parent becomes his/her coach.
When a child is between 13 and 18 the parent becomes his/her counselor. When a child is 18 and upwards parents become their consultants.
When a child is married the parents becomes their colleague.

What does a boy want to hear from his dad?

‘’Son I love you’’

‘’Son I am proud of you’’

‘’ Son you good at…….’’

Why aren’t these not happening?

Because dads are absent.
Dad is destiny. -If dad goes so goes the family.
They don’t know where they belong. That’s why they end up using drugs and alcohol, Watching pornography . They use this to suppress their pain.
They put a lid on their pain and think it will go away.
They walk around with anger.
They experience extreme behavior and addiction or obsession.
They experience a sense of lost ness or incompleteness.
Some struggle with Homosexuality.
Some become overly passive with regard to a woman
Some become overly dominant, with regard to a woman. RAPE!!!!!!!!
Do you know what rape is? Rape is a way of getting even with a woman. In order, to deal with all this, a son has, to deal with his wounds.
He has to deal with his past.
He has to deal with his hurts.
He has lost himself out there and he needs to find himself.
He needs to forgive himself and others.

He has, to deal with wounds like:

The absent father
The overly protected mother wound
Lone wound.